HOLY MATRIMONY & SAME GENDER BLESSING
AT SAINT PETER’S EPISCOPAL CHURCH
LEWES, DELAWARE

Holy Matrimony and Same Gender Blessing are major rites of celebration in the Christian community.  In the course of these celebrations, a couple declare before God and the congregation that they are knowingly and without reservation entering a relationship that has consequences for them and for society as a whole.  When two people present themselves for either of these celebrations, they are declaring that they are a part of the Christian community and are, or desire to begin to be participants in the life and witness of the faith community.  In order to uphold the integrity of both the Sacrament of Holy Matrimony and the celebration of Same Gender Blessing and to provide a setting in which the couple and their families and friends can celebrate its joy, the following policies and procedures are adhered to in this parish.

1.)        Clergy Consultation:     The couple must consult personally with the clergy before a date and time for the service can be set.  Except within extreme circumstances, this consultation must take place at least six months before the proposed wedding or blessing.  This date and time are subject to the clergy person’s satisfaction about the proposed ceremony at the completion of the required relationship counseling as well as the availability of the clergy.

2.)        Scheduling:     Only one wedding or blessing is performed on any given
            day.  There are no exceptions. All wedding and blessing ceremonies will be
            held on site unless otherwise approved by the Rector.

3.)        Requirements for Marriage and Same Gender Blessing are:

·         At least one party to the marriage or blessing must be baptized, and it is recommended that both be baptized.

·         At least one party to the marriage or blessing must regularly attend or have decided to make Saint Peter’s their worshiping community of faith and demonstrate this commitment by active regular worship and pledging financial support during preparations.

·         Where the couple attends another Episcopal parish, one of their immediate family members must be “members in good standing” as defined by the church canons.  A member in good standing as defined by the church is “one who for the previous year has been faithful in worship, prayer and giving for the spread of the Gospel”.

4.)        Marriage or Blessing of one who has been divorced:     Application must be made to the Bishop of Delaware for permission to be married or blessed in the Church and by the clergy.  The divorce must be completed at least one year old before such permission is granted.  Additional prep time is necessary.

5.)        Relationship counseling and the Service:     The clergy designated to celebrate the marriage or blessing is responsible for and in charge of the required relationship counseling and ceremony.  It is his/her prerogative to invite other clergy to assist in the ceremony.  In this parish the form for the marriage liturgy is as printed in the Book of Common Prayer according to the use of The Episcopal Church. The ceremony includes the celebration of Holy Eucharist. It is the norm for the service to take place at Saint Peter’s. Wedding Coordinators are NOT permitted.

6.)        Music:     The organ is played by the parish organist for all weddings and blessings in this parish, or if unavailable will find someone to substitute in his place.  The music for the ceremony and the use and selection of vocalists and other musicians must be planned and approved by the parish organist.  There is a set fee for the organist.  An additional fee will be applied at the organist’s discretion where there are additional musicians and soloist rehearsals.

7.)        Flowers:     The rector has the final say on the use and placement of flowers for the ceremony.  Arrangements may be placed on a table in the Narthex, on the shelf behind the Altar, on two pedestals and on the floor in front of the Altar. Flowers should be tasteful and should not be higher than the cross behind the Altar. If decorations are used on the ends of the pews you must provide your own clips and they must be removed following the service.  If you would like to leave flowers in the church for the Sunday services in honor of your ceremony arrangements must be made with the church office in advance.  For safety reasons we do not use a white runner in the church.

8.)        Rehearsal:     The rehearsal is an important part of the marriage or blessing process and is under the direction of the clergy.  It will be held at a time and date approved by the clergy.  Those persons who are to be present and participate are: the couple, the maid/matron of honor and/or the best man, the bridesmaids and/or the groomsmen, and other persons involved in the ceremony.  Please do not bring an outside consultant to the rehearsal or to the church to assist with the ceremony.  The design of the ceremony is reserved for the clergy and the couple only.  Marriage Licenses and Fees must be brought to the Church Office one week before the rehearsal.

9.)        Photography:     Professional photographers are required to meet with the clergy in advance of the service for instruction.  Guests are asked not to take flash pictures or videos during the ceremony.  This should be made clear to all who are invited to the ceremony.  Pictures of the couple and their attendants may be taken in the church following the service.

10.)      Videotaping: A video of the ceremony may be made with the following restrictions:
a.)  The video camera must be set on a tripod and capable of being turned on
      and left running during the ceremony.
b.)  Placement of the video camera is either in the back of the church or in the
      pulpit.
c.)  Additional lighting to that already provided in the church is prohibited.
d.)  A mobile video cameraperson is expressly prohibited.  There are no
      exceptions.

11.)      Receiving lines:     Receiving guests is more properly the function of the reception.  The size of the narthex is small and should be taken into consideration.  If the couple choose to have a receiving line at the church please do not use confetti, rice, flower petals or birdseed either inside the church or outside the church.  The use of small bells or the blowing of bubbles is an alternative.

12.)      Personal property:     It is your responsibility to appoint one or two persons who will be responsible for all personal property, including, but not limited to, clothing, purses, cameras, and makeup cases.  This person shall be introduced to the clergy before the ceremony begins.

13.)      Use of Alcoholic Beverages:     Alcoholic beverages are not permitted on Saint Peter’s Church property.  Diocesan Guidelines state that no alcoholic beverages are permitted at events which take place in parish facilities that are not sponsored by a parish group.  Marriage and Same Gender Blessing rehearsals and ceremonies are included in this category.

14.)      Fees:     There are certain established fees as well as fees for optional services.  The expectation is that these fees will be paid on the day of the proposed ceremony at the latest but preferably one week in advance of the ceremony.  There is no fee given to the rector except in the following circumstances.
 a.)    The rector is performing the ceremony for another clergy person.
 b.)    The clergy performing the ceremony is doing so in the place of the rector.
         All offerings received by the rector will go into the “Rector’s
         Discretionary Fund” and be used at his/her discretion for the ministry of 
         Saint Peter’s Church.

15.)      Clergy:     The clergy person consulting with a couple will normally officiate at the wedding.  However, he/she may request another clergy person to officiate if circumstances dictate.

16.)      Relationship Counseling:     A couple who wish to be married or blessed at Saint Peter’s may be required to meet a counseling professional.  The cost of this service is about $100.00.  The purpose of this meeting is to further assist the couple as they make a lifelong commitment to one another.  Topics such as communication, finances, conflict resolution, in the context of a relationship and other important subjects are discussed.  An appointment will be arranged through the Rector.

FEE SCHEDULE

Fees should be paid one week before the rehearsal.

            Custodial fee --------------------------- -$  50.00
            Organist ----------------------------------$175.00
                        (an additional $50.00 for accompanying soloists or additional rehearsals)
                        (if a choir is requested, an appropriate monetary gift to the music
                          ministry of Saint Peter’s is given)
            Gift to Rector’s Discretionary Fund – (at the couple’s discretion)